Happy HAPPPPPYYY FRIDAYYYYY!!!
Now that I have a real-life desk job-internship (after modeling I never thought this would happen tbh) I have learned the true value in Fridays and the weekend. They are not just any ordinary day, oh heeellll no. They are wonderful magnificent blessings. Nothing is as sweet as being able to do what you want, when you want.
I have my internship to thank for bringing the blessing-ness of thy weekend to my awareness. At first this job was... let's say a big jump from my free-flowing summer that I had been living before. Before, I had the freedom to create my own schedule and fill it with what I desired. Even during school, besides the few hours I was in class, I had the freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted (even if that meant choosing to hit the lib).
But, of course, living the 9-5 working life, I was hit with a harsh contrast. And I'm not trying to sound like a brat-- of course this is something that we all do throughout our lives, and working a full day is nothing out of the ordinary. DISCLAIMER: I'm also not saying that what I'm doing while interning is terrible by any means - I actually like it and find it worthwhile. I'm just saying that after being in school for 9ish months the structure of an job from 8-4 hit me smack in the face.
I found myself counting down the minutes, dreading rush hour, reaching for the coffee to get me through, and adopting sort of a "poor me" attitude--I felt suffocated by the time commitment. I was jealous of my friends who were not working and I wanted to be writing, to be meditating, to be enjoying the sun outside. I got sort of freaked thinking that this is what the "real world" is like. (yik writing that just feels so heavy - I can't believe that those blah vibes were what I was carrying around with me)
I knew that if I wanted to actually survive and find peace in the "real world," I would have to change something. Even if working wasn't exactly the thing that I wanted to be doing with my time, I had to find a way to mix both work and play, find reasons to be endlessly grateful for my internship, and put passion into anything that I was doing--no matter how small.
So I started making little changes:
I used my hour lunch break to meditate and to write.
I made a little sanctuary on my desk with crystals and affirmation cards.
Every morning on my commute and every night before bed, I would remind myself why I am so grateful for this opportunity.
I listen to Wayne Dyer podcasts while I work.
I use any smidgen of free time that I have to plan for soul circle and get down to the work that I love.
When I stopped letting my external environment affect the vibes that I put out into the world, I started feeling free.
What I was doing before was reacting to my environment-- I was letting it control the way that I felt and the way that I treated myself.
But obviously that was not working too well.
In order to be truly happy and peaceful beings, we cannot look to our external conditions to suffice this desire to be free. We must create the freedom from within. We must keep a laser-beam focus on all of the wonderful things, and let those feed our spirits. No matter the circumstances, we can always find the good vibes within ourselves, and they are never supplied by anything else externally.
And that was my lesson I learned this week:) And it is Friday after all, so here are the things that I chose to focus on that made my soul feel all filled-up and excited, no matter the circumstances:
7:30 am clouds and sunshine ~ manifesting ~ the release that comes after forgiveness ~ dark roast coffee in the morning... I'll take it black ~ angel cards ~ seeing my grandpa say hi to every single person in the office every day ~ new HydroFlask water bottles - srsly these will keep a smoothie frozen for 32356 hours ~ dedication ~ SUNSHINE ~ having time to listen to endless Spotify playlists while I work ~ getting 30 mins to myself to and from the office ~ FRIDAYS ~ hour-long lunch breaks ~ Wayne Dyer's I AM meditation (see below- this will take you to places you've never been before) ~ Feng Shui ~ clearing out 10 bags of old clothes and donating it all away.. ahh the release of de-cluttering ~ Courage ~ finding my voice to speak up ~ Sunday Fam BBQs ~ channeled writing ~ HAPPINESS.
What are you grateful for this week?
Lots of love,